Courage for Adventure

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” - Alan Cohen

I found this quote from Jane Powell's Taming Your Internal Critic. It resounded with me especially these past couple of weeks while:

* finally doing something that I've been planning to do for the past couple of years;
* embarking on something that I didn't expect I would be open to doing; and
* trying to overcome my fear of what may happen if I let go of "the familiar and seemingly secure."

I feel excited and fearful. Excited because I'm finally doing something that I want. Fearful because I might be in way over my head on a decision that's adventurous for me; and because I realized I'm doing something that's no longer very meaningful for me, something which I thought I've always wanted to do for the rest of my life.

I'm fearful (a more apt term for it is eluding me at the moment) not because I don't believe I can do these things, but because I might regret "the familiar and seemingly secure." But, a big part of me says that I should welcome and embrace the coming change and let it flow.

Desensitized

Classes have started. Excited and nervous at the same time. Excited because I've finally closed a loop in my personal life. That is, after a decade, I finally went through my plan to enroll in the program that have always been at the back of my mind. Nervous because after closing a loop, I have opened a new one, which I might be unable to close. The good thing is, the feeling is mostly "excitement."

I have just finished with one of the first assigned readings in a course about underdevelopment and the societal problems that came with it. Problems that I still couldn't believe exist -- even though I am living in a Third World country [oooppps! I just learned that this term is no longer "in" after Europe's Iron Curtain fell]. At the end of the module, the authors noted that my personal encounters with those problems may have prompted me to become personally engaged in finding solutions. I am ashamed, but I have to admit that I have become desensitized by what I see on a daily basis -- on the streets in two of our major cities. However, I would agree that those encounters always leave me frustrated and helpless.

It left me thinking, what should I do to become one of the solutions to these problems? I hope I would have a concrete answer by the end of the semester.

Ruminations

The first time I listened to Coldplay's Ghost Stories, it never crossed my mind that it would have melancholic lyrics because it didn't sound melancholic to me. Until I listened to the stories behind the alluring sound of each track, I never would have thought that I've been listening to stories about broken hearts...broken expectations.

Someone who could hurt that much, can love that much. (Am I making sense?] So sad, right? But, Chris Martin and the band were really good at drawing out the good side behind the sorrow. It surprises me that I don't feel heartbroken whenever I listen to the album's tracks. It makes me wish that Ghost Stories was written and released in an almost-forgotten lifetime.:) It would have made me realize that having a broken heart isn't that bad; and that I'm not alone. Almost everyone gets to experience having their hearts broken once or probably more than once in their lives, and Ghost Stories tells me that loneliness  from a broken heart can be expressed without being overly dramatic.

Risking the heart

"...putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder if only." ~ Castle

My First Love

I'm currently covering more books than I could read. But, I'm not complaining. :) I just remembered years ago when I wished I could get away with reading for a whole weekend. 

Wishes do come true. When they do, it's like heaven on earth. :D

Food: One Claypot House Cebu

A friend asked me out for lunch to this hidden place. Good company and good food. It was a treat! (literally and figuratively). It would have been great if the staff also served us with a smile on her face. :)

Lah-Lah-Lah Claypot
Mixed rice, chicken, pork, & sausage. Their menu states that this dish is popular among Singaporean hawker centers.
I like the smell of burnt rice from the pot...hehehe

Fried Prawn Noodles
Their version of Singapore's Hokkien Prawn Mee.
I think the herb on top is Yansoy. I usually don't like the taste of this herb but, when mixed with the sauce it's yummy!:)

Milky Bandung
First time I tasted a milk drink with rose syrup. It was okay.. ...hehehe....Smells like my rose-scented rosary. :D 

This was also one of the few places where I still felt fine after eating (my stomach wasn't doing somersaults and I didn't feel sleepy) even if I was full.

Dreams and Choices

The second part of the framework used in the Mind Tools™ 2014 Life Plan Workbook was about exploring dreams. I was asked to list at least 100 dreams -- listing them without constraints. Sky is the limit! Unfortunately, I could only come up with 20. Is it sad? Or am I just a bore? hahaha....

The third part of the framework was about making the right choices. After exploring my dreams, I was asked to identify a total of 10 dreams that belong to any life area. But because I aspire to have a balanced life, I chose one dream for each area. 

Artistic Pursuits

About creativity for creativity's sake or for reward/popularity.

1. Write interesting and engaging posts in my blog; about anything under the sun or about my all-expense-paid travels.

Career

About career development and work life.

2. Become a teacher and business owner.

Education and Self-Development

About knowledge acquisitions and future growth in these areas.

3. Complete postgraduate degrees in the communication & languages fields.

Relationships

About family and other personal relationships.

4. Be a source of strength and inspiration to my nieces and nephews; and if God permits -- to my future children and husband (ehem!).

Finances

About wealth acquisitions and enjoyable retirement that are rightfully deserved.

5. Own physical assets and financial investments with zero liabilities.

Health and Fitness

About sports/physical achievement and good health.

6. Be a Christian yoga instructor.

Passionate pursuits

About fun activities that I like to do.

7. Travel to, and live in foreign countries for language and cultural immersions.

Possessions

About owning things I like.

8. Own a spacious 2-storey house (based on a Zen design) and a 2-storey 8-unit apartment building.

Public Service

About things I'd like to do for others that would make their perception of the world better.

9. Provide financial assistance to deserving students.

Spirituality

About developing my mind or soul to strenghten my faith in God.

10. Be a Catholic apologetic or catechist.

Choosing the most important dreams and focusing on them would help me avoid spreading my efforts too thinly. It would also guide me in creating powerful goals and achieving them with clarity of purpose. I wish I could expound more on these dreams. Probably in other future posts. :)

Exploring Me

Since the start of the new year, I have been searching for planners and journals that would fit my personality or probably, my lifestyle. Although I'm writing for a living, I am lazy when it comes to putting my thoughts into words. Fortunately, I found a journal that I would like to try (another story in another post) and I also had the opportunity to gain access to the Mind Tools™ 2014 Life Plan Workbook through a 1 month membership fee promotion (from $27 to only $1). It was my curiosity that led me to decide to take the opportunity (although in reality, I should be thanking them because it was like receiving something valuable for free) and my desire know what I really want to do and accomplish in my life; and plan them in alignment with my values.

Although I've only completed the first part of the framework used in the workbook, it has helped me realize that I'm really not such a loser after all. I mean, when life gets me down especially in the past couple of years, I couldn't help but feel that I really haven't accomplished anything or added value to my being or to someone else. But after going through the exercises of "Exploring [Me]", I realized that I don't have to always look to someone else for inspiration or to always seek acknowledgment from others to feel accomplished. At times, I just need to look from within to realize what God has made me go through to appreciate what I have become and the values I hold dear (and shouldn't let go) to make my choices and decisions.

In summary, the workbook asked me to write the factors that contributed in the following situations:

Things That Make Me HAPPY:

1.      Worked with people who have similar interests.

2.      I am allowed to make decisions.

3.      I am treated as an adult who is responsible for my actions and for the decisions I made.

4.      Visited sites I never expected to see with my own eyes in my lifetime.

5.      The feeling of accomplishment.

Things That Make Me PROUD:

1.      The need to complete a legally-binding contract.

2.      The desire to prove to others that I can do the job no matter how unlikely it was for me.

3.      The desire to not fail those who believe in my capacity to overcome difficult situations.

4.      The desire to learn and be good at what I do.

5.      The desire to spin a negative experience to something positive.

Things That Make Me FULFILLED:

1.      The desire to help.

2.      The desire to share my blessings.

My Most Important VALUES:

1.      Accountability

2.      Independence

3.      Results-orientation

4.      Diligence

5.      Making a difference

My Most Important NEEDS:

1.      Spirituality

2.      Trust

3.      Self-esteem

4.      Freedom

5.      Accomplishment

How about you? What are the factors that made you fulfilled, happy, and proud in certain situations?